


The Lies We Tell

by ChaoticScott



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Dysfunctional Family, Gender Dysphoria, LGBTQ Themes, Mental Health Issues, Multi, lockdown - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:00:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26694892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticScott/pseuds/ChaoticScott
Summary: Parker Scott was meant to have the best year this year. She's supposed to graduate, confess to her crush, live an amazing life in the flat she shares with her best friends and go on a bunch of crazy adventures whilst leading her singing group to victory in house Capella.But instead she's stuck at home with her homophobic parents, living under the looming threat of their divorce, dealing with her sister's immigration, a bad breakup, being fed lie after lie and feeling very misplaced.With all the landmines exploding around her by the minute, can she salvage what's left of her final year?
Kudos: 1





	1. Lie #1

**Author's Note:**

> "To all those who wonder if I write about them: I do"
> 
> *  
> *  
> *
> 
> This is a work of fiction littered with lies and half truths: Any resemblance to persons or situations are purely coincidental, but be careful of what you choose to believe.  
> Enjoy reading

_"I just need some time to myself"_

We both know that's not what you meant.


	2. Chapter 1

It's been a week. A week. That's all it takes really. It took me one week to lose my mind.

It started with wondering how I felt about her. Because that's what you do when you're texting your best friend at midnight feeling super disjointed and messed up because you think you like her. Because it's just a suspicion, but the way you were raised says that it's super not okay to like girls.

And that was just the Sunday.

I woke up on Monday, not wondering if I was gay anymore.

All I did was roll onto my back, check my texts, smile, and then it hit me like a truck. If ever there was a time that my mom would excuse me for swearing, this wasn't going to be it.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck"

So maybe it's not the ideal setup. Because not only is this my best friend, I'm also gonna be living with her and her sister. And she's only starting university, so I really don't want to complicate things for her. Oh, and what do I do if I fuck it up? If I admit to liking her and she rejects me, or worse, what if she does like me back but we break up? How does this even work?

I might be overthinking this.

But seriously, what am I doing?

I've never been in a relationship! I'm 20, and I've been single all my life. No joke. I have never dated anyone. I am the very definition of hopeless. And now I have the audacity to catch feels?

"You called?"

Jamie poked her head around the door, devilish smile playing on her lips, hair wild, pj shirt pulled off her shoulder, one sock missing, eyes sleepy. I hadn't realised I was that loud. But Jamie let herself in, and like your typical obnoxious sibling, flopped down on my bed.

Grace let out a startled mrrp and squirmed out from under the covers, popping her sweet little grey head out inches from Jamie's elbow. Jamie reached over to pet her, stretching out across my legs as she did and closing her eyes.

"Why so frustrate this early in the morning?" She half mumbled

"No frustration" it wasn't a lie. I was more panicked than anything.

"Sure sounds like frustration to me"

My phone buzzed, and I couldn't help but blush. And Jamie caught it. Shit.

"Oh I see" she went from half-asleep to hyperactive in 0.5 seconds. And suddenly she sat next to me. The phone disappeared under the covers before she could see anything. "Who's the lucky guy?"

"There's no guy Jamie" I was laughing, but I wanted to curl up and die. I could feel myself blushing furiously, and I just wanted to get away. I didn't smell great, I needed coffee, I want a shower.

"You've got it bad" she laughed, trying to reach over me to grab the phone. But I wasn't going to let her.

Grace perked up, her ears pulling back and her eyes widening. Then she crouched down, and tapped her tail twice. She wiggled her butt. And pounced. Sinking her claws into Jamie's arm. "Dumbass mode!" Jamie cheered, forgetting about the phone and flopping her hand around under the covers. Grace took the bait, happily chasing a hand-sized lump back and forth.

I took advantage of the situation to sneak a peek at my phone:

**Noodle: "How are you feeling today? Hope you slept well"**

How is it even possible to get butterflies from a text like that?

I texted back in a hurry, terrified that Jamie was getting bored. But Grace was still happily hunting. So I silenced my phone and threw it into my drawer.

"Okay, I need a shower"

"Yes you do!" Jamie agreed, still occupied with Grace "You stonky"

I threw my pillow at her, and hit the side of her face. She laughed, and nearly kicked Grace off the bed. "Oh it's on!" Then rising to her haunches grabbed two pillows and flung them at me in rapid succession. I dodged the first, but fell pray to the second. Then I scooped it up and making a full 360, launched it back to her.

It went way wide and she took the opportunity to hop over Grace, land on the second pillow and tackle me. Jamie wrapped her arms around my waist and lifted me off the ground pile-driver fashion. And instead hugged me so hard that several joints popped.

"crunchy" she laughed

I managed to scramble out of her grip and grabbing an old towel, I threw it at her for good measure before I made my escape. I sprinted down the hall and slammed the bathroom door shut before Jamie could get back at me

And there I breathed a sigh of relief.

Then I started to wonder about what she would text back.

It's not every day that I wondered about what someone would text back. It was a fairly recent development really. And last night I'd spent almost all night on the phone with her. But that's mainly because she's the only person I could think to talk to about it all. And yesterday was a complete mess. And Erin was always there for me.

I had just come home from a week long hiking trip with her, Eris, Leah and Mae. Eris is Erin's older sister, and my best friend - we met in my first year, and properly connected this year. And Because of Eris, I got to know Leah and Mae, another pair of sisters. Mae is older, and afraid of heights (which made hiking a challenge), but that's beside the point. The point is that I spent a whole week with them, and a big chunk of it all talking to Erin.

So when I got home I was all scrambled up inside. I had gotten pretty close to Erin, and Eris, which is a good thing, because we'll be sharing a flat in a little while. But being close to Erin scrambled my insides.

Which is what's screwing me up. Because last I checked, I was into boys.

Not that I've ever had a relationship. So, there's that. But it doesn't mean anything right? I'm supposed to be into boys right? That's the default.

But Erin isn't.

Eris had proudly announced it a few months after I became her friend. And when I met Erin, I could tell that she was comfortable with it. (You know, beside the fact that we were both cosplaying queer characters) But she looked so damn cool, confident and over-all, you know... Badass

And well... Maybe I wanted to be her friend really really badly.

But now it wasn't friendship I was feeling.

My heart skipped every time her nickname popped up on screen. And every word meant so much more than I wanted to admit.

Which is why I went to her last night.

And this morning it all just made sense. You know, the way that when you finally understand how it all works: it's like you can actually feel the earth rotate under your feet. You can kinda feel yourself hurtle through time and space and in all the mess, not having had feelings for a boy is suddenly the least of your worries.

Now my mind revolved around one specific spot. And it felt like no matter where I was in the universe, I would always know where that spot was.

Erin was that spot. The blip on my radar. The star on the horizon.

I dried off and wrapped the towel around myself. Then I poked my head out of the bathroom and made sure Jamie wasn't lurking.

There is something about everything making sense that makes you walk taller. And when I got dressed I didn't worry about toning it down either; I donned my favourite flannel and tied my converse before hopping off the edge of my bed with a little more flair than usual.

**Noodle: "I'm glad! I slept okay"**

**Noodle: "Good news! Let me hear it!"**

I hesitated for a moment and then started typing. With her I could be honest.

**Fae Magic: "Hooray for sleep!"**

**Fae Magic: "You know that feeling when everything just makes sense? Like everything just fits together?"**

**Noodle: "Yeah?"**

**Fae Magic: "Well, today is one of those days"**

**Noodle: "?"**

**Fae Magic: "I think I'm gay"**

**Noodle: "You think?!"**

**Fae Magic: "OKAY! I know"**

A few moments passed. She read the text. Then she started typing. Slowly.

My stomach lurched. Now what?

**Noodle: "Hey! That's great!"**

And that was the end of it.

I told Eris. And Erin set me a metric tone of memes, fragments of poetry and drawings. Eris said that she'd known all along, which was weird, but apparently everyone by me knew. And it didn't bother me as much. It was funny actually.

I replied between chapters, kinda rushing myself through the chapters of the book Erin had lent me. And when I finished the book, I thumbed back to the chapter on lesbianism and loving women.

I listened to Hayley Kiyoko, Girl in Red and finished all my chores. And I just jammed out to every song I could get my hands on.

Finally I ended up in the kitchen at 12pm, talking to Dylan and telling him that I was gay in hushed tones while everyone else slept upstairs.

"Do you think you'll tell your parents?"

"I don't think I want to" I hesitated "maybe three years from now?"

"Why three?"

"Because then I'll be financially independent"

"Dude" he turned suddenly serious "if your parents ever kick you out, then I'll take you in"

"Hopefully it doesn't come to that"

He sounded excited now: "I can convince my parents to adopt you so fast"

"I really appreciate that" I laughed quietly "I'd become a Cimerman so fast if you had a say in it"

"Of course" He laughed freely "I've always wanted a little sister"

"well, adopted or not, you're the best big brother" this time I laughed a little louder


	3. Lie #2

"I'm taking a break from social media"

Posting on Instagram 12 minutes later said otherwise


	4. Chapter 2

I know you're probably wondering why I was so squirrely around Jamie. I am too, because looking back at it all, I probably should have trusted Jamie with it from the get go.

She's always been my confidant. And I've been hers.

Point and case: when I was about 13 and she was 16, we got into the alcohol cabinet. And like morons, we tasted everything. Two shot glasses and several hundreds of bottles my dad had been gifted throughout the years. bourbons, wines, brandies, champagne (which apparently has a best before), you name it, even a passion fruit flavoured vodka that still hasn't left my mind.

After a few of those bottles, the last of which was the passionfruit vodka in question, everything was funny and fuzzy and spinning. And I didn't like it. Jamie enjoyed it, but she was sick as a dog. And of course, we went to lie down, at least until the world stopped spinning, or in Jamie's case, until she didn't want to hurl.

And to this day, Jamie's methodical badassery has saved us many a time - my parents still have no idea this ever happened. In fact, her idea to use shot glasses was likely what saved us.

To this day, I don't drink. And Jamie has the tolerance of a Russian grandma. In other words, she drinks people under the table and wakes up with barely a headache, but that's beside the point.

The point is: she has my back. And I should have trusted her enough to tell her.

But I didn't, and that made packing all the more fun. Because not only was I dodging Jamie's barbs and questions about the "boy" I was obviously in love with, but I was also dodging her terrible decor ideas. Because pink pillows (and we both know this well) wasn't and will never be my style.

Now aside from Jamie, I have another ally. And that's my baby brother. Evan.

You'd swear he got all the good genes. He was tall enough to tap the top of the kitchen cupboard for shits and giggles, and just dumb enough to challenge Jamie. His hair took him 30 minutes to do, but he's definitely doing something right, because out of the three of us, he's the only curly-haired kid who doesn't look like a tree. Plus, he has taste, and is easy to bribe or con.

Jamie and I still carried twice as much as football captain Evan Scott, and the two of us left the labels to Jamie - because dyslexia. Oh, and attention span. Because I am scatter-brained and Evan has ADHD like a motherfucker. But between us and dad, we got the car and the trailer loaded and rigged. And then for good measure, covered it all in plastic because rain ruins what little furniture I own.

And I'll admit. I was excited.

Eris and Erin hadn't moved in yet, just Eris' furniture was stacked in the living room. Which gave a lot of room to MacGyver my bed up to the second floor and plenty of space to stack the rest of my stuff. And the one item Jamie was the most excited about: the sleeper couch.

Because she planned to visit. A lot.

I drove home with Dad while Jamie and Evan raged home. And although my stomach spun every time Erin's texts lit up my screen, I couldn't help but be distracted.

Dad looked tired. Way too tired for bad sleep or a rough moving day. And pushing 55, I knew it wasn't age tired either. It was more the kind of tired you looked when something was eating at you and wearing down your very soul. It's a little scary when you reach an age where you can pick up on that kind of stuff in your parents right?

I'm not sure it's something that's supposed to happen, but it does.

"If you want, I can take over" I offered

Of course he shrugged and shot me down, because that was Dad for you. "It's okay"

"You sure? You look tired"

"Just bad sleep"

Obviously that was a lie. Or at least a half truth. Because parents don't tell you what's wrong. The same as when they tell you that they sent the dog to a farm, you know, instead of saying that they had it put down, or that it ran away and got hit by a car.

Parents are masters of half truth and improvisation. They think on their feet.

"How's the restoration going on that old cello?" Changing the subject is better than pushing

"On the Kanneh Mason?"

"Yep!"

It's worth mentioning that my family has a thing for instruments. Mainly because my dad has a thing for them. Like, big time.

He fixes, restores, tunes and restrings them for a living. So his workshop has at least a million different types of strings, tools, reeds, coppers, brass, woods and oils too. And he's been doing all of this since his early twenties when he got a job at the local music store.

Right now the oldest cello I had ever seen was sitting on his work bench. And whoever had owned it didn't know how to store a cello. The wood was flaking, the fretboard (I think that's what you call it) was wobbly and it had the wrong strings - no bow, and the foot piece wasn't okay.

In short, it looked like shit.

I would've thought that it was just a piece of junk from some back alley. Only my dad could tell the value in something that badly hurt.

"I'm waiting on someone to inspect it before I can start any repairs. Can't go to town repairing it when I won't get paid"

I knew that he was just doing it to prove to Mom that he went through the right channels. Because even if they told him that repairing it would render it worthless, he'd still do it. Jamie was so like him in that respect; they couldn't leave something broken. Never. Not even on pain of death.

"True" I agreed, knowing full well that neither of us meant it

Nothing was left broken for long before a Scott tried to fix it


End file.
